Self-talk can have a powerful impact on your emotional well-being and motivation. Unfortunately negative self-talk has a way of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, which can occur when there is a stressful life event, when you are anxious or when you are feeling down on yourself. At these times, you are least able to be truly rational and objective. The key is to recognize flawed self-talk and replace the errors with more appropriate thinking, a strategy often used in cognitive behavioral therapy.
Some examples of flawed thinking:
· All or nothing thinking: if anything is less than perfect, you see it as total failure
· Filtering out the positive: you think positive outcomes were just dumb luck
· Jumping to conclusions: either mind reading, when you conclude someone is reacting negatively to you or fortune telling, where you predict things will turn out bad
· Magnification: you exaggerate the importance of your problems or short comings
· Should statements: you tell yourself that things should be the way you expected them to be, often not reality
· Labeling: instead of saying I made a mistake you attach a negative label, I am a loser
· Self blame: you hold yourself personally responsible for events not in your control
Positive self talk can give you the confidence to use your talents to the fullest. Remember your positive traits and skills when your thoughts turn negative. Review your previous successes in your mind and correct your flawed self talk. The ultimate purpose of examining your self-talk is to change actions that are self defeating. The real power of self talk lies in how it changes your behavior.
